


Something Worthy

by KyluxFicHell



Series: The "Something" Series [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Awesome Grandma Leia, Brief mention of past miscarriage, Fluff, M/M, Mama Bear Ben, Marriage, Mpreg, Poe adores Anakin Hux, Redemption, Sex, X Wing Pilot Hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 11:03:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9320708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyluxFicHell/pseuds/KyluxFicHell
Summary: Three years after the birth of their son, Hux and Ben are trying to settle into the Resistance and to have another child, while still being hunted by Snoke and the First Order.





	

**Author's Note:**

> As with the last fic, I don’t really go into the science of the mpreg and it’s set in a universe where men can get pregnant and this is the norm. This is part two of the "Something" trilogy.

Ben never feels more at peace than when he is training with his uncle.

He can feel the Force flowing through his veins, ebbing gently over his body and connecting him with his surroundings. He and Luke move in tandem as they practise their swordsmanship, graceful and elegant. It is far more cathartic than when Ben was a boy, the dark side forever pulling at his mind, and he feels more close to Luke now than ever, as if the fifteen years they spent apart never happened. He feels stronger than ever too.

“Good,” Luke praises, deactivating his lightsaber with a smile. “You’ve cleared your mind properly today.”

“I always clear my mind properly,” Ben replies with a playful roll of his eyes, deactivating his own lightsaber. “I think _yo_ u are the one with the clouded mind, uncle. Mom’s been asking for you to attend a strategy meeting for ages and you keep forgetting.”

“I don’t forget,” Luke laughs, “I just purposefully don’t go. Sit down and do your meditation exercises.”

Ben seats himself on the floor, still smiling, marvelling out how little his uncle has changed after all these years. He takes a deep breath as he clears his mind once again, closing his eyes and letting the Force calm him and speak to him, washing away the stresses of the day…

It soon becomes difficult to meditate, however, when a three year old child runs excitedly into the training room.

“Mama, mama!”

Ben opens his eyes, his lips already forming a grin as his son bounds up to him and climbs into his lap.

Anakin Hux is the spitting image of his father: piercing blue eyes, thin lips, the same warm smile, although his hair is a light shade of strawberry blond instead of red. At first Ben was disappointed that his son had apparently inherited his own large ears and nose, but Anakin looks a lot more adorable with them than Ben does. He couldn’t ask for a more beautiful son.

Ben wraps his arms around Anakin and gives him a gentle squeeze and a kiss on the head, earning him a delighted giggle. Warmth floods through his chest. Forget meditation; he feels most at peace when he is holding his son.

Luke just shakes his head with a smile as he observes the pair. “Young master Anakin,” he says playfully, leaning down to tickle the boy’s chin. “How many times have I told you about running in here and interrupting your mother’s training, just because you want a cuddle from him? Hm?” He tickles Anakin’s sides, who squirms with laughter. “What’s the reason you’ve got for us today, hm? Are you bored? Or hungry?”

“N-no!” Anakin laughs, squirming away from Luke’s fingers to wrap his small chubby arms around Ben’s neck. “Daddy’s home!”

Ben stills for a moment before looking his son in the eyes. “What was that, Ani?”

“Daddy’s home!” Anakin repeats excitedly, smacking his tiny fists against Ben’s shoulders. “Daddy’s home, daddy’s home!”

It is at that moment that Ben’s mother appeares at the doorway, face flushed and breathless.

“Anakin Hux!” Leia says with exasperation, hands on her hips. “How many times have I told you not to run away like that?” She looks at her brother and son apologetically. “Sorry for the interruption, boys.”

“It’s alright, mom,” Ben says quickly as he stands, shifting Anakin to rest on his hip. “Is Hux back?”

Leia brushes a hair from her face elegantly, still a little breathless. “Yes. The team just landed.”

“Any problems?” Ben asks, feeling that familiar anxiety tug at his heart, the same one that settles in his chest every time his husband leaves for a mission and doesn’t evaporate until he’s safely back at the resistance base.

“No injuries or fatalities,” Leis confirms with a smile. “The mission was a success.”

Relief floods through Ben and Anakin claps happily.

“I suppose we’d better cut our session short then,” Luke smirks. “Go on, Ben. Go and find him.”

Ben is already out the door before Luke has finished his sentence, walking as fast as he can manage with a toddler clinging onto him. Hux has been gone for over two weeks, and even though Leia has confirmed that he is unharmed, Ben is still desperate to see it with his own eyes.

When they reach the hanger, Ben does a quick scan of the crowd of people in the room, eyes darting between X-wings where pilots are climbing out to greet families and friends. He feels the anxiety hit him again when he can’t see his husband, until-

“DADDY!”

Anakin squirms in Ben’s arms, bouncing excitedly, pointing to the far corner of the hanger where Hux, still dressed in his orange jumpsuit, is helping to unload the droid co-pilot from his X-wing.

“Off you go then,” Ben chuckles, placing Anakin on the floor to watch him zoom across the hanger. “Watch where you’re going!“ He jogs gently behind his son but still finds it difficult to keep up with him; he’s never known a child who could run as fast as Anakin when he’s excited.

“DADDY!”

Hux looks over upon hearing his son’s ecstatic shrieks, a wide smile creeping onto his face. He kneels down and opens his arms just in time for Anakin to jump into them and wrap his tiny arms around Hux’s neck.

Ben skids to a halt in front of them just as Hux picks Anakin up and kisses his head, before gently touching their noses together. It warms Ben’s heart to see his husband and his son together in an embrace again, his _family_ , safe and well. They are absorbed in each other for a few moments before Hux finally turns to face Ben.

“Look, Ani,” Hux says quietly, a soft smile on his face. “Your mama could barely keep up with you. Has he been forgetting to do his training while I’ve been gone?”

“No!” Anakin laughs against his father’s shoulder. “But sometimes he stops his training to play with me!”

“Does he now?” Hux is grinning from ear to ear as he steps forward and uses his free arm to pull Ben closer until all three of them are in an embrace. “Well I’m back to play with you now, Ani, so mama can focus on his training.”

Hux leans forward to gently press his lips to Ben’s for a moment. It is a chaste kiss; they would do no more in front of their son, but it still makes Ben’s heart pound and his cheeks flush. Over the last few months Hux has been growing a beard, which although Ben has complained about in the past he’s actually quite glad to feel it now, rough and coarse against his own skin but an affirmation that his husband is here in the flesh. It feels almost overwhelming to be in his arms again.

“Hello,” Ben says softly when they part.

“Beloved,” Hux replies, blue eyes twinkling as they take in Ben’s face after a two week absence.

Anakin giggles and buries his face in Hux’s shoulder, a sign that he is embarrassed by his parents’ blatant affection towards each other. 

“Captain Hux,” a voice behind them interrupts.

Ben turns to see his mother with a warm smile on her face. She steps forward to give her son-in-law a kiss on the cheek. “How did it go, Hux?”

“Very well, General,” Hux replies. “I’ll give you a full debrief in twenty minutes.”

“Very good, Captain.” Leia gives Hux another smile as she takes Ben aside, leaving Hux to swing Anakin around and hold the giggling boy upside down.

“I’ll take Ani tonight,” Leia says quietly, one hand gentle on Ben’s arm. “So you can welcome your husband home properly.”

“ _Mom_!” Ben feels himself blush as his mother laughs. While he had certainly planned to give Hux a proper welcome home once in private, he didn’t want his mother bringing it up or even _thinking_ about what he and Hux would be getting up to that evening.

“Drop Ani at my quarters after dinner,” Leia says with a wink, before leaving Ben to return to his family.

He smiles and his heart fills with warmth as he watches the two people he loves most in the galaxy laugh and embrace.

Ben never feels more at peace than when he is with his family. 

**********

“I missed you,” Hux breathes into Ben’s ear that night when they’re naked in each other’s arms.

“I missed you too,” Ben sighs as Hux’s lips work their way from his neck to his shoulder, his husband’s beard chafing deliciously against his smooth skin. 

Ben loves his son dearly, but he’s rather glad right now that his mother offered to look after Anakin for the night. He’s been looking forward to some much needed alone time with his husband. Ben is capable of protecting himself; he is strong with the Force and skilled with a lightsaber, but he still never feels safer than when he’s in his husband’s arms.

Hux has always been attractive, but over the last few years the muscles of his torso have become slightly more defined after continuous training and field missions; his physical strength has increased significantly since his days as a First Order General. Ben loves to run his fingers over Hux’s chest and arms, to feel the gentle bumps of those muscles and to be held in those strong arms, safe from the outside world.

“Are we going to try again tonight?” Hux asks gently, nipping Ben’s earlobe.

Ben shivers and bites his lip. They’d been trying for a baby for over a year now. He can’t quite believe it’s been a year; a year of endless cycles of disappointment, peaks of getting their hopes up only to have them dashed with a visit to the med bay. Ben knows there’s nothing medically wrong with either of them, but sometimes he can’t help but wonder if there is something wrong with _him._ He’d suffered a miscarriage once before after a careless fight and he wonders if he sustained some injuries from Rey (not that it’s her fault of course, Ben only blames _himself_ for that particular incident).

Sometimes he wonders if it’s stress or fear or a mixture of both. The last time he’d conceived, he’d still been under Snoke’s command, prior to defecting from the First Order and betraying the Supreme Leader. Ben and Hux are both wanted men now, hunted ruthlessly by the Order for high treason. Their son is wanted too. Ben’s heart breaks every time he imagines what Snoke would do if he found Anakin, how he would manipulate the boy to the dark side just as he had done with Ben. No matter how safe Ben’s family may be with the resistance, his fear of losing them is always at the back of his mind.

“Hey.” Hux’s soft voice brings Ben back. “Alright?”

“Yeah,” Ben replies, his voice thick. “We can try again tonight. Just…we shouldn’t get our hopes up.” He turns his face to the side, his eyes watering.

Hux places a gentle kiss to the younger man’s temple. “None of that now. This is going to happen for us. Remember what you said the first time you got pregnant? _It is the will of the Force._ Hm?”

Ben sniffs. “Yes.”

“Well I think the Force has great plans for you and I, Ben Hux. Wonderful plans.” Hux places a kiss against the bottom of the faded scar on Ben’s face. “We just might have to wait a little while for those plans to unfold.”

Ben laughs through his tears; his husband can make him feel better about anything. He turns his head back to face Hux and presses a kiss to his lips.

“You’re an idiot,” Ben says with a smile. He’s said those words to Hux many times; a few years ago he would have said it with malice and annoyance instead of the playful tone favoured by young married couples.

“An idiot who’s going to get you pregnant,” Hux says confidently, grinding his hips against Ben’s.

Ben feels the familiar heat of arousal pool in his groin as they kiss again and Hux’s hands wander lower, caressing his sides, his stomach, his thighs, his cock. When Hux finally enters him, Ben feels all his fears and anxieties slip away. He grips his husband’s arms tightly and wraps his thighs around Hux’s waist, pulling him as close as possible.

He can feel Hux’s waves of pleasure through the Force; Ben generally doesn’t venture into his husband’s mind without permission but sometimes Hux will project thoughts and feelings without even realising, especially at times of great emotional significance. There’s love there too; Ben can feel it washing over him, warming his insides and making his toes curl.

“I love you,” Hux whispers against Ben’s ear, the speed of his thrusts increasing as he nuzzles the younger man’s hair. “I love you, Ben.”

“Hux,” Ben moans (he still doesn’t quite understand why Hux hates his first name so much, but he’s addressed Hux by his surname for so long that anything else just sounds _strange_ ). “Love you!”

When Hux shudders and comes, Ben can feel his warm seed inside him, bursting with the potential of life. Ben has his own orgasm a few moments later when Hux strokes him to completion, hand tight around Ben’s cock, and afterwards he’s so happy and tired and hopeful that he thinks they may actually have done it this time.

They take a shower together, the first time they’ve done so in ages. Ben has always loved showering with Hux, even back on the Finalizer when their relationship was purely sexual; there had always been something very soothing about Hux’s hands massaging shampoo into Ben’s ( _Kylo's_ ) hair and caressing his wet skin. It’s more difficult to find time for themselves to do this nowadays, especially with a three year old child to care for.

Afterwards they sink into bed together, choosing to remain naked (another rare luxury) as Ben rests his head on the familiar planes of his husband’s chest, listening to the steady thump of the older man’s heart. He's glad Hux is home.

“I have a good feeing about this time, you know,” Ben says quietly, tentatively.

“So do I,” Hux replies, stroking the younger man’s hair.

That night Ben dreams of Hux and Anakin, playing together as if there is no Snoke, as if they are not being hunted.

He also dreams of another child, with Hux’s red hair and gentle smile.

**********

Three days later Ben finds Hux in the command centre, sat at one of the consoles with Anakin on his lap, pointing at the screen as the boy bounces excitedly and giggles at the colours of the radar. 

Ben almost doesn’t want to interrupt them so he hangs back for a moment, quietly observing his family. Hux is grinning as Anakin announces that he wants to grow up to become a pilot too, and Ben doesn’t have the heart to ruin the moment.

His son soon spots him though and quickly slips from his father’s lap to waddle over to Ben.

“Hi mama,” Anakin giggles, hugging Ben’s legs. “Have you come to play with us?”

“In a little while,” Ben promises, leaning down to stroke his son’s hair. “Go and sit with Poe for a bit and I’ll come and get you when we’re ready to play.”

Anakin obeys instantly, taking off at such a speed that Ben thinks he could probably outrun the Millennium Falcon. The boy bounds over to the other side of the room where Poe is diligently working, and Ben hopes that the commander won’t mind babysitting for a few moments. Despite Poe’s indifference towards Ben and Hux (which has evolved from what was once passionate loathing), he is very fond of their son and Anakin enjoys spending time with him.

“Everything alright?” Hux asks, standing and walking over to Ben.

Ben isn’t sure he can say it again. He’d said it so many times to Hux, watched the disappointment flare in his eyes before he would give a forced smile and claim that he didn’t mind. Ben knew that he _did_ mind though. Ben knew that Hux’s heart broke a little every time he was given this news, just as Ben’s did having to give it.

Ben swallows. “I just got back from the med bay.”

Hux’s face crumples for barely a second before he gives a soft smile. He’s becoming better at hiding his disappointment.

“Not this time then?” Hux asks gently, although it’s clear he already knows the answer.

“No,” Ben confirms, his voice faltering slightly. "Not this time.“

Before he knows it he’s in Hux’s arms and he can feel the older man’s fingers stroking through his hair.

“It’s alright,” Hux soothes. “We’ll try again, beloved.”

Ben meets Hux’s eyes wearily. “Perhaps we shouldn’t.”

Hux frowns. “What do you mean?”

Ben swallows again, painfully aware of how thick his voice must sound. "We’ve been trying so long and…nothing has come of it.“ He lowers his voice, his eyes watering. “We’ve had sex as often as we can in every position imaginable and it just hasn’t happened. So maybe we should stop trying.”

Hux looks a little hurt. “Don’t you want another child? I thought we talked about this, Ben. About how much we wanted another one and how we wanted a brother or sister for Anakin-”

“Of course I want another child,” Ben snaps, the tears now flowing freely down his face. “I just don’t want to disappoint you again.” He feels as though he’s on the verge of rage, as though he’s about to break into one of the temper tantrums he used to throw so often onboard the Finalizer. But before the rage takes over he feels Hux’s arms tighten around him and give him a gentle squeeze and it’s almost as if he’s literally squeezing the pain out of Ben.

“You could _never_ disappoint me,” Hux whispers. “You’ve given me _everything_. You’ve given me my son and everything else that is good in my life.” He leans back to wipe a tear from Ben’s face with a brush of his thumb across the younger man’s cheekbone. “If you want to take a break from trying, we can do that. We can just enjoy our marriage and our life with Anakin and see what happens. But please don’t ever entertain the thought that you are a disappointment to me because you’re not, Ben. You have given me more than I could possibly deserve.”

Ben smiles. His husband has always had a way with words and has been able to deliver eloquent speeches without missing a beat.

“Ok,” Ben says quietly. He presses a kiss to Hux’s jaw, enjoying the rough texture of his husband’s beard against his lips. “We’ll take a break from trying and just see what happens.”

He’s about to give Hux a proper kiss when Poe comes limping over with Anakin clinging onto one of his legs.

“Gentlemen,” the commander interrupts, “I believe this rascal belongs to you.” He ruffles Anakin’s hair and gives the boy a wink. “I’d love to play some more with him but I’m afraid I have work to do.”

“Sorry, sir,” Hux says apologetically, hastily tugging Anakin from his commanding officer’s leg and pulling him into his arms.

“Training exercise tomorrow at noon, Captain,” Poe says, not looking at Hux as he tickles Anakin on the chin.

“Yes, sir.”

Poe gives a curt nod to Ben before turning on his heel to return to his station. “And you need a shave, Hux!” he calls out as he’s walking away.

Hux frowns but Ben just smiles and kisses him. “ _I_ like your beard.”

“You’ve been telling me to shave for months,” Hux says with one eyebrow raised.

“Well, I like it now.”

Ben takes Anakin from Hux and gives the boy a kiss on the head, which earns him a kiss on the cheek in return.

Even if he can never have another child, Ben feels incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful family already.

**********

Ben is taking a break from his training the following morning when Poe comes storming into the training room.

“Ben, where is your husband?” Poe demands, voice icy. “He was due to report for a training exercise ten minutes ago.”

“He’s on his way,” Ben replies, trying to keep his tone neutral. “The droid that was meant to co-pilot for him was having issues.”

Poe doesn’t say anything more to Ben.

“Apologies, Luke,” Poe says to Ben’s uncle on his way out, who is showing Anakin some simple Force-control techniques.

“He hates me,” Ben mutters once Poe is gone.

“Can you blame him?” Luke asks, smiling as he watches Anakin manage to lift a small toy spacecraft a few inches off the ground without touching it. “He will come to forgive you in time.”

“I don’t deserve forgiveness,” Ben says quickly, “but he shouldn’t take it out on Hux. Hux is trying his best, risking his life for the resistance, and it’s never enough for Poe. Nothing he does is _ever_ good enough and it’s not fair that Poe judges Hux based on my mistakes.”

Luke takes hold of the toy spacecraft and hands it to Anakin, before scooping the boy up in his arms and seating himself next to Ben.

“What’s troubling you, Ben?” Luke has always been insightful and can read Ben like a book. He’s always been able to tell when there’s something wrong, some unspoken worry that is lying heavy on Ben’s mind.

“Everything,” Ben sighs, reaching over to stroke his son’s hair, who is busy playing with his toy. “I’m scared, uncle.”

“About what?”

“About Snoke,” Ben admits. “Every second of the day I wonder when he’s going to turn up and take away everything dear to me.” He gazes at his son. “I’m scared that Anakin will turn out like me.”

“I hope he does.”

“You know what I mean, Luke. I’m scared he’ll turn out like Kylo Ren.”

Luke raises an eyebrow. “That’s not going to happen to him.”

“How can you know that? You used to say that about _me_.”

“I know,” Luke says slowly, shifting the oblivious child on his lap, “because he has parents who fully understand what Snoke is capable of. How he manipulates people. Anakin is safe with you and Hux.”

“Is he?” Ben’s voice starts to tremble. “Or is he in more danger? Snoke is hunting us. All of us. And I’m worried that he’s getting closer to finding us.” Ben looks at Luke wearily. “Am I a bad mother? For keeping my son with me when I’m a target? Should I…send him away?”

Luke’s eyes are soft as he puts an arm around his nephew. “You’re a wonderful mother. Your son is safest when he is here with you. You doubt yourself too much, Ben.”

Ben gives a weak smile and leans into his uncle’s touch. He’s so glad that he and Luke managed to rebuild their relationship after they both returned to the resistance. He had missed his uncle’s reassurances.

“Look mama!” Anakin cries, finally paying attention to the two adults. “My ship is like daddy’s!”

Ben never thinks about sending Anakin away again.

**********

“How was Poe today?” Ben asks that evening as they’re getting ready for bed.

“Bitter, as usual,” Hux replies with a smile. “I lost count of the number of times he criticised my manoeuvres.”

Ben sits on the bed and tucks his knees under his chin. “But you’re one of the best pilots in the resistance. You’d be _the_ best, if it weren’t for Poe.”

Hux shrugs. “I used to take worse criticisms from members of the Order. I think I can handle Poe Dameron.”

He sits on the bed beside Ben, a grin on his face.

“So.” Hux kisses Ben’s right knee. “Anakin’s asleep next door. He had so much fun with Luke today he’ll be out until dawn.”

Ben smiles. He knows where this is going. “I suppose he will.”

“So.” Hux waggles his eyebrows. “I’ve spent all day showing Poe my manoeuvres. How about I spend all night showing you my _other_ manoeuvres?”

Ben can’t contain his laughter. “That’s…that’s awful! How do you come up with this stuff?”

Hux blushes, his face reddening beneath his beard. “Alright. I think we’ve established I’m not a smooth romantic.”

Ben is still laughing, but he gives his husband a reassuring kiss on the lips. “I’ll give you credit for trying though.”

Hux’s smile returns and he deepens the kiss as he pushes Ben down onto the bed. Nightclothes are hastily removed. Bodies slide against each other. Quiet gasps and moans fill the room. Hands stroke and caress. They lose themselves to a night of passion and shared orgasms.

It’s the most relaxed Ben has felt during lovemaking in some time without the pressure of trying to get pregnant hanging over him.

**********

Three days later, Hux has to leave to complete another field mission.

They say their goodbyes in the hanger just before Hux is about to board his X-wing, but Anakin can barely be consoled. He bawls as Hux holds him in his arms, and Ben has to use an unanticipated amount of strength to separate them. 

“Daddy!” Anakin sobs as Ben prises the boy from his father’s arms. “I go with you!”

“Not right now, Ani,” Hux says, his heart clearly breaking. “When you’re older though, I promise.”

“Just go,” Ben says with a weak smile when Anakin buries his face in Ben’s neck. “The longer you wait the more upset he’ll get.”

Hux nods in agreement and gives Anakin a quick kiss on the head before kissing Ben on the lips.

“See you in a few weeks,” Hux says as he climbs into the X-wing.

“Be safe!” Ben shouts over his son’s cries. He holds Anakin in his arms and strokes his hair as they watch Hux take off, disappearing into the stars.

“Miss him already,” Anakin mumbles miserably.

“Me too,” says Ben.

**********

Life without Hux is always that little bit more difficult.

It’s not just the practical side- looking after Anakin by himself while trying to train at the same time- but the emotional element of it as well. Ben can still sense his husband through the Force (and he often does so deliberately, just to check on him) but his physical absence takes its toll on Ben. Ben will eat with his mother or uncle (most people, although apathetic towards him, still prefer not to socialise with him) and spend the day longing to talk to Hux or to catch a glimpse of his warm smile in the mess or hangers.

The nights are the worst though. He hates sleeping alone, knowing that Hux should occupy the space next to him. Anakin comes and sleeps with him some nights; Ben is grateful for the company and Anakin is excited to sleep in such a large bed.

Some nights Ben has nightmares. He dreams of Anakin, a grown man, a mixture of malice and fear in his eyes as he plunges a blood red lightsaber deep into Hux’s heart. He sees Hux slump, physical and emotional pain evident on his face, before _falling falling falling_ …

Ben always wakes up sweating and shivering, and one night he has to run to the bathroom to vomit.

“You ok, mama?” Anakin asks quietly when Ben returns to bed.

“I’m fine, baby,” Ben says softly, tugging his son closer to him. “Go back to sleep.”

The following morning Ben is sick again. He thinks nothing of it until it starts to become a pattern, in the middle of the night and first thing in the morning. At first he thinks it might be something to do with his nightmares, but then another possible explanation strikes him.

He arranges for an examination in the med bay and tries not to get his hopes up.

**********

Hux is gone a week longer than expected; he stays in touch with Ben throughout the extension of his mission via hologram. Ben doesn’t say anything about the results from his medical exam. He doesn’t want to distract Hux from his mission.

When Hux finally returns, Anakin is bursting with energy and nearly knocks Hux over as he runs across the hanger to jump into his father’s arms. Ben hasn’t felt this happy in ages; today he isn’t worried about Snoke or frustrated with his training- he just feels joy flood through him as he watches his husband and his son hugging and laughing.

Anakin eventually spots Poe and runs off to greet him, leaving Ben to take his place in Hux’s arms.

“And how are _you_ , beloved?” Hux asks after a gentle kiss, grinning from ear to ear.

Ben doesn’t answer. He can’t; he isn’t quite sure if he can find the words. He leans back and looks into Hux’s eyes, into the eyes that have given him such comfort over the years.

Ben smiles, takes Hux’s hand in his own, and places it on his stomach.

Hux looks a little confused at first, but when he looks down at their joined hands on Ben’s stomach, realisation dawns on him. He meets Ben’s eyes, hesitant.

“Really?” Hux’s voice is just a whisper, as if he is terrified that this is some cruel joke. “Are you…?”

Ben just beams back at him.

Hux lets out a noise that sounds like it’s halfway between a laugh and a scream, his smile even wider than when he’d arrived. He steps back for a moment, running one hand through his unruly read hair, as if he is disorientated by happiness, before taking Ben in his arms again and lifting him off the floor.

Ben lets out a small yelp as he feels his feet leave the ground and wraps his arms around Hux’s neck for support, clinging on as his husband spins them around several times.

“You’re pleased then?” Ben laughs once his feet are firmly back on the ground.

“Overjoyed,” Hux confirms, leaning in to give Ben a deep kiss, unworried by the fact that they are in public. “I can’t wait to do this with you again.”

Ben is happy that they’re having this, this moment. The last time he’d told Hux he was pregnant, they were onboard the Finalizer and they were too terrified to be happy and all that was on their minds was how they were going to get away from Snoke. The first time he’d told Hux he was pregnant, pregnant with the child he would eventually miscarry, Hux hadn’t been that interested, since their relationship had been purely sexual at the time.

This is the moment that Ben had always hoped the two of them would finally share. One moment of pure joy at the thought of becoming parents; a luxury that had not been granted to them before.

Ben vaguely registers Anakin scrambling back over to them, desperate to see what all the commotion is about, but all he’s truly aware of is the almost unnoticeable energy inside him that he can sense through the Force.

**********

Ben is thrilled to be pregnant again, _of course_ he is, but he’d forgotten how many inconvenient things he had to put up with during pregnancy.

The aches. The morning sickness. The cravings. The increase in sexual libido (Hux certainly doesn’t mind, but it’s tiring).

Luke forbids him from training throughout his entire pregnancy, limiting their sessions to meditation only. Ben considers arguing but he quickly remembers the pain of his miscarriage and decides perhaps his uncle is wise to advise him not to over-exert himself.

Anakin asks an awful lot of questions. They put off telling him until Ben is nearly four months along, just in case something goes wrong.

“How big will the baby be?” Anakin asks one evening when he’s being put to bed, stroking the gentle curve of Ben’s stomach with a tiny hand.

“Not very big,” Ben laughs. “You’ll be able to hold the baby if you like, but you’ll have to be careful because it will be very small.”

Anakin stares in awe at Ben’s stomach. “Will I be able to play with the baby?”

“When the baby is a bit older, yes.”

“Where will the baby sleep? What will it eat? What are we going to call it?”

“I think that’s enough questions for one night,” Hux says as he enters the room. “Your mama needs to rest. Time for a story and then bed.”

Ben gratefully leaves his husband to read their son a story while he goes to lie down. He considers himself a very fit person but this pregnancy is draining him of his energy. He rests one hand on his stomach, stroking as he hums. Hux has taken to singing to his bump before they go to sleep, insisting that the child can hear him.

When Hux finally returns from Anakin’s room, he collapses on the bed, exhaustion on is face.

“That boy will be the death of me,” Hux sighs. “When I refused to answer anymore baby questions he threw all his toys off the bed.”

“Yes, he’s developing quite a temper,” Ben chuckles.

“Like his mother.”

Ben smacks Hux’s arm. “I’m not _that_ bad anymore.”

“Your moods have improved,” Hux agrees, stroking Ben’s bump absentmindedly. “Being here has done you good. Especially all that mediation you do with Luke.”

“You could improve my mood even more,” Ben says suggestively, stroking his  husband’s beard.

“Again?” Hux laughs. “We did it this morning, Ben. Twice.”

Ben just pouts.

“Alright,” Hux says with mock reluctance. “Who am I to deny you?”

The sex is a little more awkward now that Ben is a bit bigger, but just as enjoyable as always. Ben’s cock is almost painfully hard against his bump and Hux’s thrusts are slow but powerful as he holds one of Ben’s legs in the air, kissing the smooth skin. His free hand massages Ben’s bump as if he needs a constant reminder that their unborn child is still there.

When they’re finished, they lie awake and talk about how much they’re looking forward to Anakin having a younger brother or sister.

Ben has no nightmares that night.

**********

Nearly three months later Ben is saying goodbye to Hux again.

“It’s only three days this time. I’ll be back soon,” Hux promises Anakin as he kneels to give his son a hug.

Anakin sniffs but doesn’t throw a tantrum like last time.

“I need you to do a very important job for me while I’m gone, Ani,” Hux says to the boy in a serious tone. “I need you to take care of mama and the baby until I get back. Make sure mama gets plenty of rest. Don’t let him go near his lightsaber. Can you do that?”

Anakin wipes his nose on his sleeve and nods with determination. “I can do it, daddy.”

“Good boy.” Hux gives his son a hug and a kiss on the head before turning so that he’s facing Ben’s now rather sizeable bump, still kneeling. “Be good, little one,” he says gently, addressing the bump. “Don’t cause too much trouble while I’m gone.” He presses a kiss to the bump before rising to his feet.

Hux strokes Ben’s hair away from his face. “You be good too, Ben. Remember to eat properly. Rest. Meditate.”

I will,“ Ben replies, rolling his eyes. “Just go. I’ll be fine. See you in three days.”

They share another kiss before Hux climbs into the X-wing.

“Hux!” Ben calls as his husband slips on his helmet.

Hux looks down at him quizzically.

“Be safe,” Ben says softly. Hux smiles, gives them a wave.

As he once again watches his husband disappear into the stars, Ben can’t help but let a tear slide down his cheek.

**********

On the day Hux is due to return home, Ben senses a disturbance in the Force.

He’s helping Anakin get dressed when he buckles, hit by a wave of energy in his chest. It’s nothing like he’s ever felt before, even when his father died. Anakin shudders as well, stumbling back. It must be a powerful disturbance if even his young son, who is only just beginning to display his abilities with the Force, can feel it too.

“It’s daddy,” Anakin croaks.

“I know, Ani,” Ben says, feeling his eyes water. “He’ll be ok,” he promises, not fully believing himself.

He gathers Anakin in his arms and runs across the corridor to his mother’s quarters, heart pounding.

“I felt it too,” Leia says as soon as she opens the door.

They make their way to the command centre where people are busy examining radars, maps, barking orders. It’s chaos and it frightens Ben.

Leia demands a report; they’re told that they’ve lost over half the team. Ben feels that familiar anxiety clutch at his heart and he’s glad that his mother is there to take Anakin from him; he’s afraid he might pass out.

“What happened?” Leia demands, stroking her grandson’s hair.

“We’re not sure, ma'am,” a young comms officer replies from her station. “We lost contact with them. We believe they were ambushed.”

Ben sinks into a chair, his whole body numb. The disturbance in the Force is too great for Ben to reach out to Hux. He would give anything to know that his husband is safe.

He loses track of how long he sits there in the command centre. Anakin sits on his lap, surprisingly quiet, occasionally stroking Ben’s bump. Ben is also vaguely aware that Finn comes and sits with him for a while, and he wonders _why_  because Finn’s never exactly been warm towards Ben, which is understandable. Then Ben remembers that Finn also has a husband out there to worry about, a husband who he cannot be certain is alive.

“They’ll be fine,” Finn says, and Ben isn’t quite sure if he’s just talking to himself. But then Finn turns and smiles at him, and Ben knows that he’s there because he wants comfort, and he knows Ben needs comfort. No matter what has happened between them in the past, they are both now in the same position.

“When are you due?” Finn asks, gesturing to Ben’s bump, clearly trying to make awkward conversation.

“Um, in about eight weeks,” Ben replies with a forced smile. “I think it may be sooner though. I’m a lot bigger than last time.”

“I was gonna say,” Finn laughs, “you look like you’re ready to give birth now!”

Ben laughs, feeling a little more at ease. “It’s getting a bit uncomfortable. I have trouble getting up by myself.”

“I have all this to look forward to.” Finn has a faraway look in his eyes. “I’m pregnant too,” he explains, smiling. “Three weeks.”

“Congratulations,” Ben says sincerely.

“Yeah.” Finn reaches over to tickle Anakin under the chin. “I can’t wait. Neither can Poe.” He stiffens then, as if he’d forgotten about his worry for his husband. “If he makes it back.”

“He will,” Ben says quickly.

Finn gives him a smile, small but genuine. “So will Hux.” He reaches over and gives Ben’s hand a reassuring pat.

Ben can only pray that they’re both right. 

**********

When the survivors from the mission arrive back at the base nearly eight hours later, Ben’s heart is in his mouth.

He leaves Anakin with Luke as he and Finn rush to the hanger, desperate to see if their husbands have returned home.

There are noticeably fewer X-wings that have returned than when the team left. For those that have returned, it is utter chaos. Several pilots are badly injured or are unconscious and are being carried to the med bay. Ben looks around, desperately trying to catch sight of red hair or a red beard.

Finn lets out a gasp as he spots Poe climbing out of his X-wing at the other end of the hanger, a large bloody gash on his face but otherwise looking healthy. As he exits the spacecraft he’s trying to drag something out as well; Ben catches sight of another orange jumpsuit and realises it’s a _body_ , a limp body that’s either unconscious or lifeless.

“Someone get Ben Hux!” Poe shouts as people gather to help him drag the body from the cockpit. “Go and find Ben Hux!”

“I’m here!” Ben cries, running as fast as his bump will allow him, because now he _knows_ who it is that Poe is dragging from the X-wing…

Poe lets the medical officers take Hux’s limp body and turns to catch Ben, who is running so fast he’s about to skid and fall.

“He’s alive,” Poe says reassuringly.

“I need to see him,” Ben says desperately, tears running down his face. “ _Please_ , Poe, I need to see him.”

“Of course,” Poe says, keeping a firm grip on Ben’s arms to stop him from running away and disrupting the medical officers’ work. “Once they’ve patched him up and got him in a bed, of course you can see him.”

“What happened to him?” Ben’s voice has never sounded so weak. “Will he survive?”

“He was shot by a blaster,” Poe says gently. “We were ambushed at the Order base. I was cornered by stormtroopers; Hux saved me. He was shot in the process. Several times. But he’s alive and his injuries are easily treatable.”

All Ben has to hear is the word _shot_ before he feels faint in Poe’s arms. He’s relieved that Hux is alive, but he is all too familiar with the injuries of battle and the toll they can take on a person.  

Poe keeps his word; Ben is taken to the med bay to see Hux as soon as he’s been treated. Ben has never seen him looking so vulnerable, covered in nothing but bandages and his undergarments. He’s awake though, which comforts Ben somewhat.

“Beloved,” Hux croaks weakly. “It’s wonderful to see you.”

Ben sits beside his husband’s bed and takes his hand into his own, swallowing. “It’s wonderful to see you too. Although you’ve looked better. I was so worried, Hux.”

Hux smiles with chapped lips and chuckles. “This is my revenge. For when you made me rescue you from the snow and sit by _your_ sickbed.”

Ben laughs through his tears. “We are both reckless. We deserve each other.”

“We certainly do.” Hux’s voice is more serious now. “Is Anakin alright?”

“He’s with Luke. You should rest for a bit before you see him.”

Hux nods and closes his eyes. “You’ll stay with me though?”

“Of course,” Ben promises.

Hux is confined to the med bay for a week while his injuries heal. Anakin visits daily, accompanied by Luke and Leia, and shows Hux all the drawings he’s done of his father flying in an X-wing. There’s an unmistakeable look of pride on Hux’s face as he examines each drawing closely, praising his son’s artistic ability.

Poe and Finn come to visit too in order to check on Hux’s recovery.

“Your husband is a brave man,” Poe tells Ben, clapping Hux on his uninjured shoulder. “I owe him my life.” Hux flushes at the praise.

“The bravest man I know,” Ben agrees.

Poe and Finn stay a while and Ben feels surprisingly comfortable around both of them. It’s the longest period of time they’ve spent with him since he arrived at the resistance base, and it actually cheers him up immensely. They don’t give him cold looks, they make playful jokes, and Poe even recounts the story of how Hux saved him. His eyes glaze over with sadness though when he talks about the pilots they lost. Their friends who had not returned.

“It was _him_ ,” Hux says, leaning back against the pillows, a dark look now on his face. “He was there. Ben, I _saw_ him.”

Ben doesn’t have to ask to know who Hux is talking about. “Snoke.”

Hux swallows, eyes darting between the three men at his bedside. “Poe saw him too.”

Poe nods. “Yeah. He was there. Hell of an ugly guy, I’ve gotta say. You two were wasted working for him.”

“Did he see you?” Ben asks, fear clenching at his heart. 

Hux nods, swallows. “He spoke to me.”

Ben is trembling now. “What did he say?”

Hux shivers. “I’d just been shot, Poe was dragging me to safety. And then he was just… _there_. I don’t know where he came from, but you know what he’s like. He just appeared in front of us. He said it was good to see me again, and then he told me he hoped I’m enjoying married life. That was it. And then he _let us go_.”

Ben looks to Poe, who nods to verify Hux’s story. Ben feels nausea wash over him as he imagines Snoke’s mocking tone. _I hope you’re enjoying married life_. He knows that there must be a reason why Snoke let Hux escape unharmed. To witness the deaths of his fellow pilots? Or so that he may later face an even worse fate? Ben highly suspects the latter. He knows that Snoke wants to see them both punished for fleeing the First Order. And he knows that Snoke’s methods of punishment are far more unpleasant than a simple blaster shot.

Ben is suddenly jolted from his thoughts when he feels the baby begin to kick. “Oh!”

Poe startles, concern on his face. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Ben laughs, rubbing his bump. “The little one is being restless.”

Poe’s face softens. “Is it alright if I…?” He gestures to Ben’s bump, and Ben gives a gentle nod. Poe glances at Hux and when Hux nods as well, Poe places one hand hesitantly on the swell of Ben’s belly. “Wow…this is…wow.” Poe grins from ear to ear. “I don’t think I ever congratulated you two by the way.”

“Thank you,” Ben says softly, finding Poe’s touch oddly soothing. “Congratulations to you too.“ 

Poe’s cheeks flush a little, and he smiles at Finn. "Thanks. We can’t wait.”

Ben feels his fears about Snoke begin to fade away slowly as they talk about children and parenthood, but he knows he’ll never truly be able to stop worrying.

Snoke will always be there, waiting.

**********

Less than six weeks later they find themselves back in the med bay when Ben goes into labour.

Hux, healthy and fully recovered, remains by Ben’s side and squeezes his hand as the younger man screams and cries and says horrible things to Hux.

“I’m never having sex with you again!” Ben yells at Hux, the lower half of his body numb with pain as he pushes. Hux just pushes Ben’s sweaty hair back from his face and kisses his cheek. 

When the baby finally comes and Ben hears its healthy cries for the first time, he sinks back into the pillows with relief. His baby is _here_ and it’s healthy and _safe_. 

“Another boy,” Hux tells him, his blue eyes shining with tears. “Well done, beloved. _Thank you_.”

Ben is given barely two minutes to rest before the medical officer orders him to start pushing again, and he’s confused because he’s _done it_ , he’s given birth, but he feels the urge to push take over him again and he then knows that they’re not done yet…

The second birth is surprisingly smoother than the first, but Ben is sore and exhausted and so incredibly _happy_.

“Twins,” Hux says with disbelief as his new daughter is handed to him, tiny and swaddled in blankets. “ _Twins_." 

"They run in the family,” Ben says tiredly as he’s handed their newborn son. He feels so blessed in this moment that he forgets about the pain as he examines his two babies, his two _perfect_ babies. He wonders how someone who has lived the life that he has and done the things that he’s done could ever be rewarded with such treasures.

When Anakin is brought in by his grandmother, after the babies have been properly examined and Ben has been treated, the boy can barely contain his excitement.

“ _Two_ babies?” Anakin squeals as Hux lifts him onto the bed beside Ben, who is holding one child in each arm. “I have a brother _and_ a sister?" 

"Aren’t you a lucky boy?” Hux grins.

“I’m a very lucky boy,” Anakin nods enthusiastically, reaching out to run one finger gently across his brother’s cheek. He’s surprisingly careful while sitting on the bed, not wanting to disturb his mother and siblings. “I have _two_ babies to play with,” he says in awe.

Hux and Ben had already chosen both a male and a female name to prepare for both possibilities, and Ben is actually delighted that they get to use both because he’d become quite attached to both names. _Han_ , for his father, a name he had dismissed when Anakin was born because the memory was still too fresh and painful but a name he is now ready to remember and honour. And _Jaina,_ a name that Leia had suggested and the name that she’d planned to give to Ben had he been born a girl.

Ben feels his heart bubble with joy as Hux sits beside him on the bed and places a protective arm around Ben’s shoulders, gazing down at his three children.

“All those years on the Finalizer,” Hux whispers. “All those years wasted building weapons and trying to conquer systems. But look what we’ve done now.” His eyes are shining as he looks at his family.  

“Something worthy,” Ben replies, right before they kiss.


End file.
